The Gnu song

A year ago, last Thursday

I was strolling in the zoo

when I met a man who though he knew the lot.

He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons 

And how many spines a porcupine has got.

So I asked him:

"What's that creature there?"

He answered, "Oh, it's a h'Elk"

I might of gone on thinking that was true 

If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame

And remarked, "I h'aint a h'Elk, I'm a Gnu"

"I'm a Gnu

I'm a Gnu

The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo

I'm a Gnu

How do you do

You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho

I'm a Gnu

Spelt G-N-U

I'm g-not a Camel or a Kangaroo

So let me introduce 

I'm g-neither man or moose

Oh g-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu"

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea

Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne it was actually

And the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream

That I'll tell you all about some other time

Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed

Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew;

A Bison? No, it's not a Bison. 

An Okapi? Unlikely, Really. Could it be a Hartebeest?

When I though I heard a voice...

"I'm a Gnu

I'm a Gnu

A g-nother gnu

I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you 

I'm a Gnu

How do you do

You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho

I'm a Gnu

Spelt G-N-U

Call me Bison or Okapi and I'll sue

G-nor am I the least like that dreadful Hartebeest,

Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, 

G-no g-no g-no, I'm a Gnu

G-no g-no g-no, I'm a Gnu"

by Michael Flanders / Donald Swann 1960