Friday 31 May 2013

It's been a good thing and might again

Here is a poem by my former lover and best friend, Ray Lear, who passed away at the age of 37, from a sudden brain tumour. He is sorely missed. I used to call him Quip - we were always having a laugh. Here is a poem he wrote for me. 29/3/1997:


I peer through work-a-day window
Searching vainly for that beautiful vision.
Without her ice-cream has no taste
Laughter sounds like tears.
My all for one sweet kiss, one more slap-head.
I look to the empty pillow beside me
Once soft, now made of stone.
Wrapping myself in the warm quilt of memories,
I dream...
Perfectly fitting lips that filled my soul,
when met.

Hair of spun silk framing a face of both beauty and character
Bright, intelligent eyes that search to see more
Hands capable of the most caring touch
Or setting the flesh afire
We went trekking in the stars as our
worlds spun faster.
Heart of bread devoured as if it were each other's
Long walks, hand on leg while driving - 
I don't remember it ever having not been there.

Every meal a feast of senses
Six gifts of flesh exchanged, sublime, savoured, treasured, eternal.
French, the language of love was ours
Spoken without words.
In love and making love she cried
'This is how it should be!'
Empty words or a standard set
Your glow not from the sun but from within.
Linga longa in my heart beautiful Jennifer, Linga longa.

by Ray Lear
Ray

Thursday 30 May 2013

Daffodil

Daffodil - Cruden Farm, Victoria © Jennifer Phillips

Asymmetry

You tried to stop
my mad dive
into that icy February
lake on my dark
Sunday. 
But the shiver,
bone clicking source,
was your blue 
longing eyes
that I did not love. 
So alive and alone
we trembled 
in that embrace. 


© "Neon Veil" (All rights reserved)
Icy Lake - Copyright Free Images

Part time lover


Call up, ring once, hang up the phone 
To let me know you made it home 
Don't want nothing to be wrong with part-time lover 

If she isn't with me I'll blink the lights 
To let you know tonight's the night 
For me and you, my part-time lover 

We are undercover passion on the run 
Chasing love up against the sun 
We are strangers by day, lovers by night 
Knowing it's so wrong, but feeling so right 

If I'm with friends and we should meet 
Just pass me by, don't even speak 
Know the word's "discreet" with part-time lovers 

But if there's some emergency 
Have a male friend to ask for me 
So then she won't peek its really you my part-time lover 

We are undercover passion on the run 
Chasing love up against the sun 
We are strangers by day, lovers by night 
Knowing it's so wrong, but feeling so right 

We are undercover passion on the run 
Chasing love up against the sun 
We are strangers by day, lovers by night 
Knowing it's so wrong, but feeling so right

[Repeat]

I've got something that I must tell 
Last night someone rang our doorbell 
And it was not you my part-time lover 

And then a man called our exchange 
But didn't want to leave his name 
I guess that two can play the game 
Of part-time lovers 
You and me, part-time lovers 
But, she and he, part-time lovers

by Stevie Wonder

Wednesday 29 May 2013

Playtime with Papa

Take this knife, 
kill thy neighbour-
commands the father
or the father 
gun get will
and kill 
all 
to feed
the nothing. 
Think boy
fast, faster
distract 
to distraction
sleight of hand
and twist of question
hide the edge 
of lies
and hide
hidden fear
behind your back,
a smile in front,
and terrible
laughter between.


© "Neon Veil" (All rights reserved) 
Füri knife © Jennifer Phillips

Tuesday 28 May 2013

Mental disorders

If you are having trouble seeing any pictures on this site, just click on the picture and you will be taken to a full-size image.

Leunig in The Saturday Age - May 25, 2013

Monday 27 May 2013

Facing the ocean

At Merimbula - New South Wales © Jennifer Phillips

Daylight rain

Daylight rain.

He went inside

and the words came to him
and the feelings were his feelings

It was
tissue-paper antimacassars
and being rotten drunk,
and having no money sometimes when
he saw a world he wanted and
needed it for.

People as big as football fields,
and fields that disappeared 
from one time to the next.
He turned towards the hearth
but the fire was out.

Just
walking round
in the spacious
museum of his memory
or
waiting at the bus-terminal to go forward.
Time isn't forward, it
won't take you anywhere, you have to 
get a map and search.

All his friends
were tiny with distance
he couldn't see them
any more...

by Michael Dransfield

Sunday 26 May 2013

The quality of mercy

"The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."

by William Shakespeare
Bruno Torf's Art & Sculpture © Jennifer Phillips

Two poems in "Tanka" style

Tanka is a form of unrhymed Japanese poetry, with five sections totalling 31 onji (phonological units identical to Morae), structured in a 5-7-5-7-7 pattern. Tanka was originally the shorter form of Japanese formal poetry (which was generally referred to as "Waka"), and was used more heavily to explore personal rather than public themes. By the tenth century, Tanka had become the dominant form of Japanese poetry, to the point where the originally general term Waka ("Japanese poetry") came to be used exclusively for Tanka. Tanka are still widely written today.
Source: Wikipedia.

The moon has landed
on two lovers in the lake.
A familiar light
blanket covers to reveal,
floating stars kissing the night


© Neon Veil (All rights reserved)



Blossom horizon
Snow dust clouds tip Mount Fuji
Clear crisp ice sake
Pink roe Ikura Gunkan
Tokyo dreaming paper crane


© Jennifer Phillips (All rights reserved)

Saturday 25 May 2013

Mental attraction

"I know we were a bit pickled but I did fall in love with him at that moment. It had gone beyond just an attraction. I saw the real man.... We had had a very mental attraction to each other and spent a lot of time in conversation," Geordiadis says of their early days together. "But those various moments when I had to become such a keen observer of him - well, it is so true the eyes really are a window to the soul; you do, as a painter, start to look very deeply into someone and there are things that are revealed in a person's face that say so much about the inner person."

Margarita Georgiadis on fellow artist and partner, Max Cullen.

Source: 
"A loving relationship between subject and artist" 
by Andrew Stephens - Saturday Age - May 25, 2013

By my 8 year old daughter...

Drawn on a recent bumpy car ride. Mostly depicts her toys in various scenarios.

Ode to a nightingale

My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
   My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
   One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
'Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
   But being too happy in thine happiness, -
      That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees,
         In some melodious plot
   Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,
      Singest of summer in full-throated ease.

O, for a draught of vintage! that hath been
   Cool'd a long age in the deep-delved earth,
Tasting of Flora and the country green,
   Dance, and Provencal song, and sunburnt mirth!
O for a beaker full of the warm South,
   Full of the true, the blushful Hippocrene,
      With beaded bubbles winking at the brim,
         And purple-stained mouth;
   That I might drink, and leave the world unseen,
      And with thee fade away into the forest dim:

   Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
What thou among the leaves hast never known,
The weariness, the fever, and the fret
   Here, where men sit and hear each other groan;
Where palsy shakes a few, sad, last gray hairs,
   Where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;
      Where but to think is to be full of sorrow
         And leaden-eyed despairs,
   Where Beauty cannot keep her lustrous eyes,
      Or new Love pine at them beyond to-morrow.

Away! away! for I will fly to thee,
   Not charioted by Bacchus and his pards,
But on the viewless wings of Poesy,
   Though the dull brain perplexes and retards:
Already with thee! tender is the night,
   And haply the Queen-Moon is on her throne,
      Cluster'd around by all her starry Fays;
         But here there is no light,
   Save what from heaven is with the breezes blown
      Through verdurous glooms and winding mossy ways.

I cannot see what flowers are at my feet,
   Nor what soft incense hangs upon the boughs,
But, in embalmed darkness, guess each sweet
   Wherewith the seasonable month endows
The grass, the thicket, and the fruit-tree wild;
   White hawthorn, and the pastoral eglantine;
      Fast fading violets cover'd up in leaves;
         And mid-May's eldest child,
   The coming musk-rose, full of dewy wine,
      The murmurous haunt of flies on summer eves.

Darkling I listen; and, for many a time
   I have been half in love with easeful Death,
Call'd him soft names in many a mused rhyme,
   To take into the air my quiet breath;
Now more than ever seems it rich to die,
   To cease upon the midnight with no pain,
      While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad
         In such an ecstasy!
   Still wouldst thou sing, and I have ears in vain -
      To thy high requiem become a sod.

Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!
   No hungry generations tread thee down;
The voice I hear this passing night was heard
   In ancient days by emperor and clown:
Perhaps the self-same song that found a path
   Through the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,
      She stood in tears amid the alien corn;
         The same that oft-times hath
   Charm'd magic casements, opening on the foam
      Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn.

Forlorn! the very word is like a bell
   To toll me back from thee to my sole self!
Adieu! the fancy cannot cheat so well
   As she is fam'd to do, deceiving elf.
Adieu! adieu! thy plaintive anthem fades
   Past the near meadows, over the still stream,
      Up the hill-side; and now 'tis buried deep
         In the next valley-glades:
   Was it a vision, or a waking dream?
      Fled is that music: - Do I wake or sleep?

By W.B. Keats

Friday 24 May 2013

Cry freedom

Recently I feel more in touch with the fabric of things, finding a deeper meaning or intensity. I have more of a sense of just going with the flow, which has also been lacking for a long time. Time to lighten up and let go. Just be.


Claw at the fabric of time
Rail at the passing years

Rend the shards of time and place
Tear asunder tradition and circumstance

Throw history aside
Be as nothing, as no-one

Rise phoenix from the ashes
Of past existence

Naked, washed and open
Play freely in the world


© Jennifer Phillips (All rights reserved)
The sky © Jennifer Phillips

Thursday 23 May 2013

It must have been love


Lay a whisper on my pillow,
leave the winter on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
there's air of silence in the bedroom,
and all around.
Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away.

It must have been love, but it's over now.
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow.
It must have been love, but it's over now.
From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out.

Make-believing we're together, that I'm sheltered by your heart.
But in and outside I've turned to water, like a teardrop in your palm.
And it's a hard winters day, I dream away.

It must have been love, but it's over now.
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without.
It must have been love, but it's over now,
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows.

by Roxette
Marie Fredriksson

Wednesday 22 May 2013

If you forget me

I want you to know
one thing. 

You know how this is: 
if I look 
at the crystal moon, at the red branch 
of the slow autumn at my window, 
if I touch 
near the fire 
the impalpable ash 
or the wrinkled body of the log, 
everything carries me to you, 
as if everything that exists, 
aromas, light, metals, 
were little boats 
that sail 
toward those isles of yours that wait for me. 

Well, now, 
if little by little you stop loving me 
I shall stop loving you little by little. 

If suddenly 
you forget me 
do not look for me, 
for I shall already have forgotten you. 

If you think it long and mad, 
the wind of banners 
that passes through my life, 
and you decide 
to leave me at the shore 
of the heart where I have roots, 
remember 
that on that day, 
at that hour, 
I shall lift my arms 
and my roots will set off 
to seek another land. 

But 
if each day, 
each hour, 
you feel that you are destined for me 
with implacable sweetness, 
if each day a flower 
climbs up to your lips to seek me, 
ah my love, ah my own, 
in me all that fire is repeated, 
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, 
my love feeds on your love, beloved, 
and as long as you live it will be in your arms 
without leaving mine. 

By Pablo Neruda

Tuesday 21 May 2013

Pentecostal

Locked in my head
consciousness
here the repository
of thought and will
furnace room
of memory
tool box
of action
house of bad tidings
room of innocence

by Rhyll McMaster

Sunday 19 May 2013

The cleaving

In the first moment of momentum,
time escaped its crucible -
twin stars were divided
and fell from the grace of gravity.
They shed the skin of angels - 
and the dreams of light.
Fleeting, was the memory of love.

In the final moment of momentum,
time will fall back on itself - 
twin stars will be reunited
and forever, never, fall out of orbit.
They will shed the skin of earth,
and the dreams of life.
Fleeting, will be the memory of loneliness.


© "Neon Veil" (All rights reserved) 
Plumage © Jennifer Phillips

Saturday 18 May 2013

On eye contact

André Rieu - about his mother:

"She was very strict and very cold – and I am completely the opposite. She was afraid to show her feelings. She always said to me, "André, you don't have to look people in the eyes like you do." But I like to [do that]. That's why I have my face to the audience, unlike other conductors. I want to have this contact with people. It's how you connect. Everything goes through the eyes. My mother was afraid to look people in the eyes because then your feelings come. She is 96 now, still driving ... very independent and strong-willed. We have contact, but not much."

Source:  "What I know about women" - May 12, 2013 - Brisbane Times, by Paul Connolly

Friday 17 May 2013

Smoky mountain lullaby

Half a life asleep
we have been
almost lovers
each in another 
lover's arms.

I fear we may wake soon
from this  dream
and forget the names
for who we could have been. 

So I have hidden
a box for he and she
that never became you and me. 

It is buried deep
at the end of the moonbow, 
guarded by fireflies,
flashing in unison,
masking the glowing 
rhythm of that unborn heart.


© "Neon Veil" (All rights reserved) 
Firefly plumage © Jennifer Phillips

Wednesday 15 May 2013

Days like beads of tears

The days pass like beads 
along a necklace of tears
I am as driftwood floating 
on humanity's aimless tide, 
rise pale and naked, 
washed, scoured by tears. 

Heart's a solid piece, 
eyes see only stones and crows.
No playful symphony of birds, 
only soughing of wind in pines.
A lonely cavity couched in emptiness, 
words drip and ripples expand.

After a momentous day, 
the ensuing days
follow one another sheepishly 
in pale comparison
to the extraordinary events 
of that incredible day.

Whether I look back 
in wonder and delight
or creep haltingly, 
counting days or stitches, 
I founder in the return 
to routine and normalcy.

Days drip slowly like tears, 
a string of rosary beads
and I question that once 
having tasted Heaven or Hell,
can I stomach banality
and paste a smile?


© Jennifer Phillips (All rights reserved)
Beads - a chain of tears © Jennifer Phillips

Tuesday 14 May 2013

Lodestone

Blissful 
Thunderbird riding
a dream 
hurricane of smoke
from the fires
and songs 
of hope 
dropped my heart, 
a sizzling meteorite,
charged with attraction.
So I am soul full
seeking to be empty
in this embrace.


© "Neon Veil" (All rights reserved) 
Log fire © Jennifer Phillips

Monday 13 May 2013

To melt

"To melt and become as
the living waters.
Running and singing.
A flow of life in
My dreaming."

by William Ricketts
Inscription at William Ricketts Sanctuary © Jennifer Phillips

Sunday 12 May 2013

Adam's Curse

We sat together at one summer’s end,
That beautiful mild woman, your close friend,
And you and I, and talked of poetry.
I said, ‘A line will take us hours maybe;
Yet if it does not seem a moment’s thought,
Our stitching and unstitching has been naught.
Better go down upon your marrow-bones
And scrub a kitchen pavement, or break stones
Like an old pauper, in all kinds of weather;
For to articulate sweet sounds together
Is to work harder than all these, and yet
Be thought an idler by the noisy set
Of bankers, schoolmasters, and clergymen
The martyrs call the world.’

And thereupon
That beautiful mild woman for whose sake
There’s many a one shall find out all heartache
On finding that her voice is sweet and low
Replied, ‘To be born woman is to know—
Although they do not talk of it at school—
That we must labour to be beautiful.’
I said, ‘It’s certain there is no fine thing
Since Adam’s fall but needs much labouring.
There have been lovers who thought love should be
So much compounded of high courtesy
That they would sigh and quote with learned looks
Precedents out of beautiful old books;
Yet now it seems an idle trade enough.’

We sat grown quiet at the name of love;
We saw the last embers of daylight die,
And in the trembling blue-green of the sky
A moon, worn as if it had been a shell
Washed by time’s waters as they rose and fell
About the stars and broke in days and years.

I had a thought for no one’s but your ears:
That you were beautiful, and that I strove
To love you in the old high way of love;
That it had all seemed happy, and yet we’d grown
As weary-hearted as that hollow moon.

By William Butler Yeats

Friday 10 May 2013

Antediluvian

The gates broke and I am drowning in the aftermath
It is cold and I am frightened
So this is what loneliness is.
Losing what you love the most.
So what is next?
How long can I float in this endless sea,
in my storming mind?
And I’ll be damned if the sun is not going down.
Ah – the north star.
I find direction
God winks and blinks
and I mark the moment
that the brightest of stars
is snuffed out between God’s fat fingers.
So here I am without land to kneel on,
returning as all life does, to the sea.
Waiting for a little light, a little love, and a large life-jacket.

by "Neon Veil"
Stormy sky over sea © Jennifer Phillips

Wednesday 8 May 2013

Carnal blessing

In the late watches of the night 
your tongue languidly 
traces my contours 
in carnal blessing.
Wet goosebump tracks gleam 
in moonlight's dim emergent glow 
- we gain momentum - 
a boat on a roiling sea.

Dance dark shadow-plays on the wall, 
sweat rivulets through dusted 
moonlit tongue-tracks
over skins' smooth terrain - 
seeking surrender in my cleft 
- sweet sacrifice - 
Benediction to a god 
of carnal desire.


© Jennifer Phillips (All rights reserved)
Shadow play © Jennifer Phillips

Tuesday 7 May 2013

Augury

Deceive me
soothe me with the belief
that we'll get no older
that life and truth
are round and simple
lull me to my finger ends
say we are tender
and in the best of health
foretell events with kindness
softly
speak only
of forthcoming happiness.

by Rhyll McMaster

Sunday 5 May 2013

What the ear said

Nothing to hear in that hollow. Not boats,
not the cadence of boats and their oars.
Not wood and water and the ferry
to island in a storm, not rain. Not
the repetition of rain and the often loved
sound of trees. Or the sea.
Or the open mouth receiving. Not the lean
of the grief-struck against an oxcart or the low
of the dog caught in that rain. Again
the sound of the heart in the throat, and the too soon
lapse of breath. Again the beat of the foot
against the floor—the speech of the bed-creak
or the priest. Not to hear a cloak or some ghost.
Not moon. Not door. Not the entered shoes of a beautiful
stranger and her door, her moon.

by Oliver de la Paz
Her moon © Jennifer Phillips

Saturday 4 May 2013

Bereft

We connected
you left
lost a friend
to sea and sky.

Feel the gap
you left
my friend
vessel drained.

Feed memories
like birds
we swallow
pale renditions.

Rich gravy
has gone
we sup
empty words.


© Jennifer Phillips (All rights reserved)
From Copyright Free Images

Thursday 2 May 2013

Burn the garden

In parting we dissolved
tears coursed from my eyes
I spread them on his cheeks
a blessing and a curse.

Tear every tree
up by the root ball
and set fire
to this Southern garden.

Feed our lungs
the smoke
the fire
the ash and soot.

Do not leave even a shadow
of the calm
of the cool
of our touch.


© Jennifer Phillips & "Neon Veil" (All rights reserved)
Tree roots - Murray River © Jennifer Phillips

Wednesday 1 May 2013