Decisions

I

Words are so powerful

they can rip the stars

from the firmament - 

get all tangled up 

and glitter there, lost 

among our heartstrings.

II

Kicking the leaves

down the pavement

I question everything.

We are older now.

17 years older.

We are old, yet new.

III

Have I really lived -  

grabbed everything

that came my way... 

having once felt 

the insistent breath

of death against my cheek?

IV

Is there an intoxicating flavour 
of happiness

I will likely never taste 
without you,

and I will crave it?

Is this love selfish?

Would fundamental structures 
break inside us, if we leapt?

V

I raise my face

to the icy wind

dry latent tears

behind my eyelids.

So much to gain,

a separate life to lose.

VI

I was never one to cast my dice to chance.

My gut and heart clench with certainty

yet my head rationalises, and thoughts

circle like birds on the sky.

I clench my teeth and my fists

on a decade's frustration.

© Jennifer Phillips (All rights reserved)

Autumn leaves - Copyright Free Images