Easter song

It's Easter Day

And God's alive again

And that makes me real happy

The grass is green

There are some real nice flowers

And the trees are really sappy 

Easter time's a time to celebrate

A time to recognize the miracle of birth

And Easter eggs are given to remind us

That God will always be here on Earth

And that Cadbury still make the best chocolate

And that rabbits really must be fucking shot

And that eating hot cross buns makes you shit a little more

And if the eggs are tiny, you can hide them up your twat

'Cause Easter time's important, a special time of year

The Christians dust their Bibles off and bash their kiddies round the ears

As if a body on a crucifix will help to soothe their fears

But they should just get pissed on the blood of Christ

And hide Easter eggs up their rears

'Cause Easter eggs are perfectly designed for human bums

The way they're just as smooth and slightly smaller at the top

The special chocolate flavour makes for many hours of fun

Depending on the type of tongue you've got

Because bringing yourself pleasure I believe is really great

You can eat or drink or bungee jump or laugh or masturbate

But there's nothing quite so heavenly

There is no diviner state

Than having eternal rebirth up your date

So the moral of this story is —

The moral of this story is that on this Easter Day

As you're revelling in God's wondrous Easter sun

Is regardless of your gender or if you're straight or gay

It's great to have some choccy up your bum

So grab an Easter egg and hide it where it can't be found

Give a friend a hint and let them search around

And revel in the godliness of funny taste and sounds

And thank the Lord that Easter eggs are...

Brown.

By Tim Minchin