It's Easter Day
And God's alive again
And that makes me real happy
The grass is green
There are some real nice flowers
And the trees are really sappy
Easter time's a time to celebrate
A time to recognize the miracle of birth
And Easter eggs are given to remind us
That God will always be here on Earth
And that Cadbury still make the best chocolate
And that rabbits really must be fucking shot
And that eating hot cross buns makes you shit a little more
And if the eggs are tiny, you can hide them up your twat
'Cause Easter time's important, a special time of year
The Christians dust their Bibles off and bash their kiddies round the ears
As if a body on a crucifix will help to soothe their fears
But they should just get pissed on the blood of Christ
And hide Easter eggs up their rears
'Cause Easter eggs are perfectly designed for human bums
The way they're just as smooth and slightly smaller at the top
The special chocolate flavour makes for many hours of fun
Depending on the type of tongue you've got
Because bringing yourself pleasure I believe is really great
You can eat or drink or bungee jump or laugh or masturbate
But there's nothing quite so heavenly
There is no diviner state
Than having eternal rebirth up your date
So the moral of this story is —
The moral of this story is that on this Easter Day
As you're revelling in God's wondrous Easter sun
Is regardless of your gender or if you're straight or gay
It's great to have some choccy up your bum
So grab an Easter egg and hide it where it can't be found
Give a friend a hint and let them search around
And revel in the godliness of funny taste and sounds
And thank the Lord that Easter eggs are...
Brown.
By Tim Minchin
